Netflix’s Baby Reindeer: A Harrowing True Story of Stalking in the Digital Age

Netflix's Baby Reindeer

Netflix's Baby Reindeer

Netflix’s gripping new series “Baby Reindeer” is a raw, visceral portrayal of one man’s real-life experience being stalked and harassed. Written by and starring Richard Gadd, the show is based on his acclaimed one-man stage play of the same name. Over seven intense episodes, it depicts Gadd’s character Donny as he becomes the target of an obsessive stalker named Martha, played with chilling realism by Jessica Gunning.

What makes Baby Reindeer so compelling and timely is how it shines a light on the growing problem of stalking in today’s hyper-connected digital world. With so much personal information readily available online through social media and self-publishing platforms, stalkers have easier access than ever to potential victims. What may seem like benign posts on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok or YouTube can later betray you, enabling a stalker to quickly learn intimate details about your life and develop deep, one-sided parasocial attachments.

The statistics paint an alarming picture. According to the CDC, an estimated 1 in 6 women and 1 in 17 men have experienced stalking at some point in their lives. The majority of stalking victims are stalked by someone they know, often a current or former intimate partner. And with the rise of cyberstalking, these numbers are likely even higher. A study found that 1 in 4 stalking victims reported some form of cyberstalking such as email or instant messaging.

Experts warn that the internet has made stalking easier than ever. Stalkers can use social media to track their victims’ locations, activities and social circles. They can pose as other people to elicit information. They can post comments or send messages to harass and intimidate. And they can do all this anonymously from anywhere in the world. As we live more of our lives online, we are increasingly vulnerable to this type of unwanted surveillance and intrusion.

Baby Reindeer illustrates this in horrifying detail as Martha uses email and Facebook to relentlessly bombard Donny with messages, even after he blocks her. She shows up at his work and comedy gigs. She contacts his family and friends. She sits outside his house for hours on end. The constant harassment takes a severe psychological toll, causing Donny to become paranoid, isolated and depressed.

This is a common experience for victims of stalking. Living under the specter of an obsessive stalker can be incredibly traumatic, leading to anxiety, PTSD, and difficulty trusting others. Victims often feel helpless and alone. They may be afraid to report the stalking out of fear of retaliation or of not being believed. This is especially true for male victims like Donny, who face extra stigma and skepticism.

In addition to highlighting the realities of stalking, Baby Reindeer also offers a thought-provoking look at the neuroses of the digital age more broadly. Numerous studies have linked heavy internet and social media use to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and compulsive behaviors. The instant gratification of likes and retweets can be psychologically addictive. The pressure to curate a perfect online persona can be alienating. The internet can connect us, but it can also breed disconnection and dysfunction when used to excess.

What makes Baby Reindeer’s portrayal of these themes so impactful is the raw, understated performances at its center. Richard Gadd, who lived through a similar real-life stalking experience, brings a haunting authenticity to the role of Donny. As a comedian, Gadd has built a career on mining dark personal experiences for laughs. But here, under his own direction, he strips away any pretense or artifice.

Gadd’s eyes are pools of unvarnished anguish and bewilderment as Donny’s life unravels. His voice quavers with the strain of bottled-up rage and fear. In the show’s most wrenching moments, he seems to physically collapse under the weight of his character’s pain and isolation. It’s an astonishingly vulnerable, vanity-free performance that makes you feel like you’re watching a real person’s psychological breakdown in real time.

Equally impressive is Jessica Gunning as Martha, who is reportedly inspired by Gadd’s real-life stalker. With her character’s messy hair, smudged makeup and increasingly unhinged demeanor, Gunning is a looming specter of menace. She plays Martha not as a mustache-twirling villain, but as a desperately lonely woman untethered from reality. Her delusions that she and Donny are meant to be together would almost be poignant if they weren’t so terrifying in their intensity. It’s a fully inhabited portrayal of mental illness that never feels cartoonish.

Stylistically, the show’s cinematography does an excellent job immersing us in Donny’s increasingly paranoid headspace. Intimate handheld shots make us feel claustrophobically close to him as his world closes in. Scenes are often lit starkly, with parts of the frame cloaked in shadow, visualizing Donny’s sense that danger could be lurking anywhere. In later episodes, the camera takes on an almost hallucinatory quality, blurring and distorting reality the way Donny’s grip on it is fraying.

Of course, given that Baby Reindeer is based on Gadd’s personal story, it’s natural to wonder how closely it hews to the facts. The broad strokes seem to match up with what Gadd has shared publicly. Like his character, Gadd was allegedly stalked and harassed by a woman named Fiona Harvey after a chance meeting at a pub where he worked. Harvey sent him thousands of emails, contacted his family, and showed up at his house and comedy gigs.

There are some key differences between the show and reality. In real life, Harvey was significantly older than Gadd, while in the show their ages are closer. The timeline also seems to be compressed, with events unfolding over a period of months rather than years. Most notably, the show’s ending, in which Martha is arrested and Donny begins to process his trauma through standup comedy, is fictionalized. In reality, Gadd never pressed charges and Harvey’s harassment continued for over a decade.

Still, Baby Reindeer never claims to be a documentary. As Gadd has said in interviews, his goal was not to make a literal beat-by-beat reenactment, but to capture the emotional and psychological truth of his experience. In this, the show succeeds powerfully. By taking some creative license, Gadd is able to craft a story that has a clear dramatic arc and that reaches a cathartic, if not entirely happy, conclusion.

Some of the most “meta” moments come when the show references how Gadd first processed his experience by turning it into a stage play. We see Donny nervously preparing to perform the play for the first time, knowing he’s about to share his most painful secrets with the world. Later, Martha finds a YouTube video of Gadd performing a bit about her, which only fuels her obsession. It adds an extra layer of self-reflection, acknowledging how art can be both an outlet for trauma and a magnet for those who caused it.

Since the show’s debut, internet sleuths have been eager to uncover more details about the real story, scouring Gadd’s social media history and old video clips for clues. On the one hand, this speaks to Baby Reindeer’s power to spark fascination and conversation. On the other, there’s an uncomfortable irony in viewers digging into Gadd’s personal life, given that the show is ultimately a condemnation of violating others’ privacy and boundaries.

Perhaps what’s most remarkable about Baby Reindeer is that it tells such an extreme, harrowing story while still feeling universal in its themes. Not everyone has dealt with a stalker, but everyone can relate to the fear of not feeling safe, the pain of a relationship turned sour, the struggle to be believed, the difficulty of asking for help. In giving such a specific story the space to breathe, Gadd taps into something elemental.

It’s also worth noting the show’s timeliness in the #MeToo era. While most of the highest-profile #MeToo stories have involved female victims and male perpetrators, Baby Reindeer is a reminder that abuse has no gender. Men can be victims too, and women can be abusers. The show explores the particular shame and stigma that male victims face, the pervasive belief that they should be able to protect themselves. Donny’s reluctance to go to the police or even tell his friends what he’s going through will likely resonate with many male survivors.

Ultimately, Baby Reindeer is a show about the cost of not setting boundaries. Donny’s initial politeness and passivity towards Martha allows her delusions to escalate. The internet’s erosion of privacy norms allows her to insert herself into every corner of his life. While the show doesn’t victim-blame Donny, it does suggest that learning to say no firmly is a crucial skill in the digital age.

It’s not an easy watch, but Baby Reindeer feels like necessary viewing for our time. It’s a bracing wake-up call about the dangers of cyberstalking and the importance of taking it seriously. It’s a haunting portrait of the psychological toll of abuse. And it’s a showcase for two bravely raw lead performances that linger long after the final credits roll. As our lives become increasingly mediated by screens, Baby Reindeer is a timely reminder of the human toll when digital connections turn dangerous.

If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking or abuse, help is available. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or visit TheHotline.org to chat online and find local resources.